Politeness simply will not do

A couple of weeks ago a Hungarian friend said to me that British people, in general, have a tendency to dress badly, sometimes sporting bizarre combinations of clothing such as smart trousers with neon trainers. At first I responded with disbelief, taking umbrage at the idea. She claimed that in her home country no self respecting person would be seen dead in leggings, a vest & ugg boots - a combo readily worn by many people on the streets of Britain. I racked my brain to see if what she said was true. Do British people dress particularly badly? After a 10 day holiday in Sicilly I can now answer this question. Yes, they definitely do.

Whilst there I saw an endless stream of pretty dresses, tasteful shoes, stylish hair & flattering sunglasses. A sort of unsaid conformity to sleek Italian style. The sight of baggy unkempt clothing really did jar when I got home. It reminded me of the time I came back to Britain after living in Venice for three months and all I could notice was how white, well sort of pinky white, everyone was.

consistently well dressed

However part of me loves the fact that I can walk out my front door and see a gold necklace over the top of a tracksuit. One never really knows what is next with British clothing and I like that. We clearly don't take our fashion too seriously and who's to say that's not a wonderful thing?

got to admire their self-confidence

What is it someone clever once said? "Only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun." Well, this is a certified trusim if ever I heard one. Sicilly at this time of the year is hot - when I say hot, I mean sweltering, withering heat. The kind that has sensible dogs (the unmad ones) gasping in the shade. As we stepped out onto deserted streets in the midday sun I whinged like a spoilt movie star but if you have ever seen me you will understand - I am about as pale as a Yorkshire Rose with red hair, freckles, blue eyes, the whole gamut. I was designed for the Celtic freeze.

I know exactly how this sulking dog feels

we can only hope this cat is still alive in the blistering heat

Regardless, I can't complain too much as I think I got my entire vitamin D quota for the year on the first day. Hey, to any nutrition experts out there - do you know - will the vitamin D I got on this holiday now store up and last for the rest of the year? Sounds ridiculous but I heard that's what happens and I'm looking out my window right now at the misty sky and wondering if that really is my lot of sunshine for 2012. 

Then there's the food. Jeez, the food. Wow. Sicillians don't know what they have - beautiful vegetables, juicy tomatoes that burst in your mouth, fruit fit for the Gods. All local and often sold by the roadside out of little vans accompanied by an old man sat under an umbrella. When we went to buy fish it was as good as a trip to the theatre. The fishmonger kept diving his hand into the prawns, ripping off the shells then forcing us to eat the raw prawn. He made my husband eat prawn brains.

this one is for all you fish lovers out there

this man force fed us raw prawns. I love his calendar.

On a trip to the active volcano Mount Etna I had a test of my geological knowledge. A lesser known fact about me is my swottishness on the subject of geology. I got the best mark in the county for my Geology GSCE, I'll have you know and I have an unexplained dedication to minerals. At the age of 16 I wanted to be a volcanologist until my "career guidance" teacher told me - "English Literature and Geology don't mix". Not true, by the way. So often I imagine this alternative life I could have had as a topnotch Geologist. Doing what I have no clue. Risking my life over taking samples and stuff I guess.

on the side of Mount Etna

Our Mount Etna guide looked like a typical Sicillian boy - slicked back hair and tight t-shirt. But once he started speaking it became clear he was an expert on all things geological - almost freakishly so as he had a Phd in it for goodness sake. I kept quiet not wanting to, ahem, embarrass the other people on the tour with my hidden reserves of geological knowledge. Did you know that if the geological lifespan of Earth took up the whole of a clock face, human existence would only take up one minute? Seriously. More geology based posts to come.

My husband was keen to photograph fresh lava flowing from the spout of the volcano but due to some sort of health and safety concerns we weren't allowed up, but the volcanic rock, mineral rich and black, was pretty amazing in itself. After a while the vegetation over the rocks blooms madly due to the richness and fertility of the soil - all those fresh minerals from underneath the Earth crust. Isn't it amazing that the minerals we need in our food ultimately come from rocks? I could continue on this point for hours, literally. Maybe even write a book on it.

please enjoy this photo as I had to stand in the baking heat to take it. Take note of the lunatic Sicillians on scooters.

Italians drivers are complete nutters. We constantly near-missed death as we spun along in our tiny Fiat 500. You've got to admire the Italians on account of their total lack of respect for the material universe. It just doesn't seem to occur to them that they are in fact seated in a car or on a scooter. Politeness simply will not do. In fact, politeness is quite dangerous and seems the most likely cause of any real trouble. I soon learned this when I tried to 'courteously' cross the road and nearly caused a pile-up. After this I waltzed out arrogantly onto the road - the same as I had seen the locals do - and everything turned out fine.

this little number got us through countless near misses. Thank you tiny Fiat.

Now I'm home and I'm back to abysmal weather including torrential rain but I can't help secretly loving the rumbling sky and the nippy breeze. There's just something about all that lush greenery, freshly pelted by rain, that makes me feel right at home.